a Reflection
Now that I’ve had some time to process my elk hunt, I thought I’d share some of the emotions I experienced.
Originally, we were supposed to leave for the mountains September 17th, which was opening day and start hunting the evening of the 18th or on the 19th, depending on how trailing in went. Those last 2 weeks of September was also prime time for their annual rut!
Our ranch purchase was supposed to be finalized September 15th. But it was one thing after another that kept popping up which kept pushing back our hunting time. Which led to me, feeling a tremendous amount of anger and frustration.
When my husband and I applied for these tags back in June, we hadn’t even been looking at ranches to seriously. Let alone thinking we’d be put in an offer on one and having the offer accepted.
If I had the gift of foresight, I definitely would NOT have applied for a tag that took me 15 years to get drawn for! For my husband, it took 14 years for his!
When October 5th rolled around, we still were waiting on paperwork from lawyers and a few other outside parties, we made the decision to just go. Which was not an easy decision to make because we weren’t going to be the easiest to get ahold of for a week if a problem were to come up with the ranch purchase.
Regardless of what could go wrong with the ranch purchase, I was ESTACTIC we were finally on the road to go do some elk hunting!
The day we trailed into camp and that evening we were seeing a few elk moving about and some bulls bugling, which really got me amped up and I was expecting a really good hunt.
The next morning, we were hearing lots of bugling and managed to chase a bull around most of the morning but ended up getting busted because of the thick timber and the many elk eyes watching every square inch of the forest.
It was discouraging for sure but that was some pretty good hunting for the first official hunting day we had, and I was not expecting to get in on that type of action!
Listening to bull elk bugle is really something else, magical really.
We didn’t see, let alone hear an elk the following 4 days of hunting. A beautiful full moon that kept them up all night feeding and abnormally high day time temps kept the elk bedded all day, which made it difficult for hunting.
In those 4 days, there were definitely moments of feeling defeated, anger, frustration and lots of tears, worried that I wasn’t going to fill my tag.
I put so much pressure on myself to fill these types of special tags, in a sense, rightfully so. But it needs to be a “healthy” amount of pressure. When you wait “X” amount of years to get rewarded with a special tag, I believe anyone puts a lot of pressure on themselves.
I put myself through way worse mental agony on my moose hunt though. My moose hunt ended up being roughly the same amount of hunting time as my elk hunt, the only difference, I filled my moose tag the very last day.
In my mind, I thought my elk hunt was going to end the same. Hunting hard and ending with me filling my tag the last day of hunting. I wasn’t not, going to fill my elk tag. That just wasn’t an option, especially with the amount of hunting time that was taking away with all the legality shit from the ranch purchase.
Those 6 days and even beforehand, I manifested every possible positive thought, vibe, you name it! I was determined to make this elk hunt mentally different for me compared to my moose hunt.
I hate taking credit for this, only because I’ve had a tremendous amount of help from 2 special ladies, my lovely osteopath and my reiki master extraordinaire. But I’ve put in a lot of work into myself. Healing past mental traumas and just working bettering myself mentally. I was hoping all the hard work I’ve been putting into myself, was in a way, going to be rewarded with a successful hunt!
But if you’ve followed along on previous blog posts and on social media, we know how this hunt ended.
Despite those negative feelings and moments of weakness, there was SO MUCH GOOD that presented itself throughout the hunt!
Despite the weather being terrible for hunting, it was amazing for being out and about during the day! I wasn’t freezing my ass off (just in the mornings and overnight lol) and wasn’t trying to hike and ride through deep snow.
I was able to ride through new mountains valleys and landscapes, to see these huge, incredible, rugged mountains, to get up close to glacier fed waterfalls, moments that most people will never get to experience! I got to explore a millennia old rockslide and the amazing gift of finding natural, raw quartz pieces on top of a basin at an elevation of 8000ft!
To see my grandpa and my best friend in a spiritual form and acknowledging the little signs they’d leave for me. As well as enlightening my husband into a bit more of the spiritual realm. He’s still quite skeptical, as a man would be lol
Seeing many Bighorn Sheep ewes and their lambs was so amazing! My heart is always so full after I see them! (Did you know the Bighorn Sheep is my spirit animal?)
That’s what I’ve come to realize, was the real reason behind this trip. Was to disconnect from social media, everyday life and immerse myself in nature. To sit in her glory, reflect, to be still and to find my true self again.
I was also given time to reconnect with my husband and just enjoy the time we had, just the 2 of us. We haven’t had a decent holiday in 10 years.
Those 6 days I was able to have was indeed, a true gift and it was SO good for my soul.
If you have the chance to do something similar for yourself (doesn’t obviously have to be hunting related lol) but to be able to disconnect and immerse yourself in nature will be so good for you! 10/10 recommend!
PS. I still have and will always have those glum days where I wish I could have filled my tag. I’m human. Seeing that big bull the last evening, just before dark, with dark chocolate antlers and ivory tips will forever be engrained into my memory.
